Apparently Dodgers pitcher Zack Greinke has an “apparent left shoulder”. That and other abuses of the English language take place in this story. And don’t miss the comments, where someone claiming to be with the NFL rules committee offers suggestions.

They heard that he likes to play with balls; they didn’t stop to verify what kind.

Good old Maryland taxes are the difference.

As has been widely joked on the Internet, maybe she was distracted by Rex Ryan slobbering over her feet.

Although I’m highly sympathetic to the people who point out he still would’ve won his last SB (against Donovan McOverrated, who infamously spent most of the game puking) in without any such “help”.

I am not making this up.

Good for him.

Absolutely disgusting.

He’s got a point: rugby is statistically quite a bit less likely to get you injured than modern football.

Hey, at least there’s video.

I am not making this up.

Yes, it turns out you can find worse sideline reporters than Suzy Kolber.

Hey, if I had to play with Jay Cutler, I might look into unique ways to ease the pain too.

For not cooperating with the government’s goofy steroid investigation.

Here we go again.

I hadn’t realized that this hadn’t already happened.

Whittle, Green, and Ott tear it down.

You can’t argue with success, especially in sports.

Check out this play where you can’t even tell what’s going on until about the 3rd slow-mo replay. (It was finally ruled a TD).

Former Mets catcher Gary Carter (whom you’ll remember well if you watched MLB in the 80s) is the latest to be diagnosed. Hopefully they’ll be benign.

It’s not as good as Denny Green or Jim Mora, but it’s still entertaining.

I can’t see exactly what happened in the video, but it must’ve been one heck of a hit.

3 hours Tuesday, all day yesterday, and it’ll go again today because unlike the World Cup, ties are not permitted. Check ESPN/ESPN2/ESPNU for live coverage.

He was a class act about it afterwards, although that won’t fix the record books.

It’s the feel-good YouTube of the day. Unless you’re that guy.